Stop Telling Me the Difference Between a Funeral and a Celebration of Life.

That’s not the decision people are actually making anymore.

If someone wants a funeral, especially for cultural or religious reasons, they’re having one. That decision is clear.

The real question most families are asking is:

Do we do nothing… or do we do something?

And if we do something, how do we make it meaningful?

Because the need doesn’t go away.
The need to acknowledge a life.
To say, “this person mattered.”
To sit with others in our grief,
to be supported,
to expand our love of that person through storytelling with others.

Laugh. Cry. Remember.
It’s not about tradition anymore. You make tradition.
It’s about being human.

You don’t need to make a fuss.
Maybe your loved one said, “I don’t want anything.”

Well - what is the space in between nothing and everything?

It could be a million things!
A candle lit.
A dinner.
A walk.
A toast around the fire.
And when it feels right, yes, an elaborate, beautiful memorial.

Something that feels like them.

And no, it probably won’t be in a funeral home.
Most people tell me that’s exactly what they don’t want. Too cold. Too impersonal. Too far from who their person was.

People are planning wildly creative, incredibly simple, intimate, personal, stunningly heartfelt tributes.

I had a family tell me that without my help they might not have done anything because the emotional, physical, psychological capacity was just not there.

Because it can be totally overwhelming to plan - like 100+ hours of work sometimes - and they need someone to guide their decisions and just do the damn leg work.

That means so much to me, that I might be helping people go from nothing to something.

I love doing this. I love helping people find a space that feels like them. I love creating elevated memory table displays. I love florals and candles and music. I love providing a framework for the day.

I believe that doing something can create a path for an individual's grief journey to continue rather than stagnate.

You don’t have to do everything.
But you might be called to do something.

If you’re in the process of saying goodbye and need support, I’d be honoured to help.
Send me a message or call 💛 hello@cofl.ca | 416-817-8772

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