Last Sunday was, what would have been, my dad’s 88th birthday.  He died in June of 2022.

I have been surrounded by death most of my life serving grieving families. And still, totally unprepared for the grief I have experienced since my dad died.

🪂 This photo was taken of him skydiving in Honey Harbour, Ontario in the mid 1970’s before I was born. This picture stirs in me the soft and fond ways in which I want to remember him.

His birthday had not been on my radar as a ‘trigger’. In the month leading up to this day though, I found myself a bit withdrawn at home and procrastinating in my work.

❤️‍🩹 My grief it seems, ruminating in my mind - just below the surface, had found its way into my life. It was physical, emotional, and showing up as avoidant patterns at work.

I did not feel like celebrating my dad on his birthday although my mom wanted to have a commemoration of sorts. I felt stuck in some of the sadness and anger I experienced through him as his child.

And then I got unstuck by giving words to these feelings and bringing them to the surface.

My dad's life was full of pain, trauma and loss - and - it was full of travel, my mom’s generous love, wild adventures - and there was a period of time that he was skydiving - for fun!

🤍 Wild, free, and in the present moment.

Today, I do want to remember him.

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